in this nowhere
of stillness

there is less
and less
to say

i appreciate

i trust

i feel

an energy
radiating from my heart
boundless endless love

i know
that it flows
from one reality
the source
of all wholeness
and flawless purity

from this
point of stillness
all of life is born
every atom
of all that is

in this perfect moment
in this timeless instance
full of grace and eternity

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 9/27/17

i forgive myself
for holding my spirit
by the throat
with the iron fist
of self-doubt and recrimination

i forgive myself
for choosing the safety of a defined life
constrained by beliefs of worthiness,
for imagining that there must be
a right way which can be discovered
if i simply search for it
with enough sincerity and desperation
as though emergency exit lights
will suddenly illuminate the way
off of this insane flight from myself

i forgive myself for repeating the steps
of ho’oponopono a thousand times
i apologize
please forgive me
thank you
i love you
while always concealing in one hand
or the other
a precious piece of guilt or shame
tiny shards of a shattered mirror
that still hold for me
an irresistible gleaming allure

i forgive myself
for building boundaries into walls
so that anger and resentment
would always be securely held
as my treasured personal affliction
so that my isolation would ensure
the perpetuation of my loneliness
so that when connection is what i most need
no one can possibly reach me

i forgive myself
for piling up insulation
against more suffering reaching me
only to find myself turning blue
half dead from such quiet shallow breathing
lest anyone be able to hear
my soul crying out for union with divinity

there are endless ways to return to my cell
secret routes known only to me
i can be here now and disappear in an instant
as any need or want for my undeserving self arises

i forgive myself
for taking on the suffering
that rightfully belongs to others
i never understood that it is here as a lesson
to be lived by its owner and then released

i forgive myself
and return to this world
all of the painful bits
i tried to bear for you
believing then i would be fully loved

i forgive myself for feeling wrong when hurt,
for believing that strength is the ability
to withstand anything that fear can deliver,
that free will was given to me
to choose the cleverly concealed steps
to where perfection is reflected
from the crystalline water
of a pure and depthless lake

as a precautionary measure
i also forgive myself in advance
for thinking i am some kind of mistake,
something less than the divine love
that grew this body from nothing
and that created this shining heart,
an open gate which none can close before me

today i see
the whole hot mess of me
striving to be better
than absolute perfection
and today i do
truly forgive

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 9/25/17

yes i’m all about peace and light,
i’m affirming wholeness in this moment, alright,
but the disappearing me
is plenty pissed off and
would like some control back, goddammit

look around, it says, at an obvious
sea of misery definitely sloshing
toward the deep end this time

how the fuck, for instance,
can my only daughter have stage 4 cancer
and they have nothing further to recommend

a derivative of mustard gas – did you know
that is the basis of all chemo
in this chemical soaked poisonous world
we worsen by the day? yeah, pissed off
doesn’t even begin to describe it,
i am fucking enraged by the whole shitty
slide of events, not to even mention the nightly updates of a world awash and aflame

let’s love now, right in the middle of the bonfire
there is plenty of crap to burn,
of that i can assure you,
and i like it hotter than you
might imagine on an entirely
carnal plane fuck if i care
what it translates to
on some mystical metaphysical dimension
let’s work up some sweat some sweet slick
intertwining of an entirely physical nature
and then write about it in a peaceful way
once we’ve blown off some steam we recall

the calm that was always here
except through that one amazing part
where you did that thing oh right

as we bring our awareness back to the room
we wiggle our fingers and toes such bliss
to have settled into ourselves just as we are
even at pissed times like this

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 9/9/17

those who do not live in love
can only act from fear

when it grows strong enough
hate and violence burst forth
from the tortuous pain of separation

a deranged 22 year old
stalks trails in KC
executing white men
in my age range
five shot in the back of the head
they never saw it coming
he quietly stated in confession
like unexpected grace
he brought them sudden peace

in Charlottesville the fear
draws armed white supremacists together
weapon caches are strategically placed
throughout the city in case more hate
should need to be inflicted
like Easter Islanders gone single mindedly
mad driven over the edge of sustainability
they march with tiki torches
to lend a tropical festive flair
to the dangerous smoke laden air

near Philadelphia 18 year old
Bianca Nikol Roberson finishes shopping
for her first semester at college
she parts from her mother and grandmother
at the mall looking forward to the fall
and fails to allow
an angry young white man
into her her lane fast enough
shot in the head through the window
she careens away
already dead when she crashes
into a roadside tree
her beautiful young life
forever gone from the lane he claims
he speeds off in a red pickup truck
desperate to be somewhere sane

in Houston our callous disregard
for the planet’s health is made clear
thousands are washed from their sodden homes
by the most severe rainfall
in United States weather history
three straight days of broken records
thirty are left dead yet it is love
that pulls survivors from the wreckage
thousands of them spared
and even now when things appear
to be at their utmost worst
we are given another chance
to reflect and begin anew

caught in the swell
of myriad and complex tragedies
i could easily be brought to a standstill
but i serve no one by being depressed

tugged by the tide of perilous change
i affirm that i am love,
that i have no desire to follow
this malicious energy roaming the land

i am peace and i will continue to increase

though i suffer from the anguish
of my brothers and sisters
i am hope that swims always toward light
in the midst of seething chaos i am still
i am pulsing eternal life
i am the joy of existence
i am a safe harbor and refuge

in one power only
one source
i am

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 9/1/17

lately it has been like tuning in
a familiar welcoming beacon
latin jazz guitar in the background
onions red and yellow peppers sizzle
brats spit and baste make tiny bursts of flame
the osage orange rustles a sunset breeze
wafts goldfinches to the feeder a hummingbird rockets past in peripheral vision
now still for a sip and gone again
boiled new potatoes hug the grill

it is all coming together this repast
from a wooden deck full of neighborly
satisfaction i sigh contentedly with simple love
flitting among the small branches light as can be

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art

this problem
has grown larger
than you and me
and i agree
it’s complicated
but you see
perfection exists
in everyone
simultaneously
so quite simply
we must
love them all

no more complexity

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 8/18/17

inside the house
all of the screens
stream by with
fear-filled news
emboldened kkk in charlottesville
leave behind the injured and deceased
and here it is august 2017
such sadness and suffering
information can bring

a step or two
from beneath the sheltering roof
is the entire infinite sky and
a delicious lingering touch
of sweet cool air
this bright summer morning in independence
honey locust, towering catalpa, black locust
and kentucky coffee tree hang heavy
swollen by recent unusual rains
laden with full brown seed pods

my brothers and sisters
the perfect place to fall in love
is already offering its bounty
the fragrance of life
wafts from the ground
with a scent of harvest time
the dead are made fertile
in the luscious earth
i tell you plainly
there is only birth to be seen
in any direction i look

there comes a time when we too
must stand in the way and when we do
we look to the strong ancestral trees
for our example patiently reverent
in the black ground bending in a surging sky

matter transformed to light cascades
to us through the quivering leaves
is reflected within receiving minds

wind that has swept across
vast oceans of water and grass
slows and sighs along our limbs
eddies at our fingertips

wind chimes beneath our porch
bump lovingly against one another
a low mellow reverberating contralto

earlier on the lake trail
some humans pressed by gaze averted
absorbed in the screen
they come and they go
voiceless and lost in the depths
of the endless scroll

do not fear my dear
for we will remain
rooted here forever
and a day as long
as it takes
knowing
the fear carried
in those furtive eyes
of separation and despair
yet wherever we are together
we invoke peace and love invite all
to participate in this flowering field
where life still flows unimpeded
straight from the center transmuted
into earth wind fire and water

nothing is the matter
and the ground of all being
is in every locale
accepting all that is
without label or illusion

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 8/17/17

i wheel my bicycle
from the dark garage
and am struck by it again
stretching infinitely above the roof
we so carefully maintain
is a planet sized sphere
of soft blue atmosphere
then space and stars and stuff
not visible beyond busy refracted light
bouncing around in azure bliss up there

we spend so much time
cooped up with our thoughts.
one emerging physics theory
posits everything is made of photons
wave and particle cascading
somehow into things we see
measure touch and assess

is it not already apparent
when we pedal into a widening sky
or fall within it to where you and i
shine with a shared remembrance
that without self all life is this?

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 8/2/17

everything we seek
is here as we speak
but that seems impossible
not rational or logical
so it’s off again we go
for more of it
while still we sit
in its very midst
seen from a distance
it’s really quite comical

©John Greenleaf-Maple – text and art 7/22/17